Hoisting up the main sail

I spent a bit of time this week reflecting.  We love that word in schools don’t we? It’s one of the few things we haven’t picked up from industry (I would have been slapped for suggesting reflection time in my old life).  It’s from politics (which just goes to show).  Anyway, I’ve been ill and eventually had to admit defeat and stay in bed.  This is where the reflection happened.  Being an introverted extrovert I am generally okay at thinking about stuff. However since becoming a teacher the skill has turned into more of a curse.

Let me explain why, on Monday, mid-sleep/illness my thought process was this:
Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Bad teacher Revision Revision Revision Revision Revision Revision Revision Revision Revision Revision Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic
Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Data Year
12 coursework Year 12 coursework Year 12 coursework Year 12 coursework Year 12 coursework Year 12 coursework Year 12 coursework
Mock preparation  Mock preparation  Mock preparation  Mock preparation  Mock preparation  Mock preparation  Mock preparation
Controlled Assessments Controlled Assessments Controlled Assessments Controlled Assessments Controlled Assessments Controlled Assessments iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE
stuff iGCSE stuff iGCSE stuff Planning Planning Planning Planning Planning Planning Planning Planning Planning Planning
Planning Planning Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking
Marking Marking Marking Marking  Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking
Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking Marking

Taking just two days off school has put me behind, significantly. I hold my hands up and admit, I am not the most organised person in the world. A messy perfectionist is how a friend described me recently. So perhaps this partly my fault (after all, I was the one to get sick).  But it’s not just the catching up on emails, admin and marking.  I was panicked about the kids and their work. About how I was going to squeeze those extra hours into the few days left before the holidays.  I felt guilty.  I felt like a bad teacher.  Beautifully timed, my illness coincided with Sir Michael’s fresh starched views on the state of my uniform, I mean teaching. I felt guilty again. I felt like a bad teacher more.

Ridiculous right? I know I’m a good teacher. Kids learn stuff in my lessons. They turn up to exams and write about Of Mice and Men and not one of the other books that they haven’t studied.  Parent’s don’t picket the school gates wanting to run me through. I’m a good teacher. I think.  Am I? I don’t know anymore.

Here lies the rub. So much of a particular type of reflection has caused paranoia (and occasional hysteria). We second guess ourselves too much.

Then my kids brought home their homework for the holidays.  I love it.  They have to reflect after each day in the holiday and write WWW and EBI. I can imagine it now. WWW – I got a Pokemon onesie.  EBI – mum would let me keep the £50 from Gran, instead of slipping into her wallet.

Sometimes we just need to keep it simple.

So here I am – hoisting the main sail again – I am a good teacher but I will continue to get better.  With a little help from my friends WWW and EBI.   I will be posting my Autumn 1 WWWs and EBIs over the holidays.

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